To get caught up on her journey first, Visit the Lyndsie page
Waiting. Probably the most difficult thing for a human being to do. The dictionary will tell you that waiting means, “to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens “. Expected. So what IS expected. How can you wait for the expected when you have no idea what to even expect. It think this definition is unworthy of what is actually occurring.
Imagine waiting to hear if you cancer is back, after you have fought like hell to beat it so you can be there for your 2 babies, husband, sister and parents. Imagine. Not many of us can EMPathize with that. We can of course all SYMPathize. But who can really say they have been in this situation before. Not many. If you can, God bless you and you are in all of our prayers as well. Cancer. Sucks.
But this is where Lyndsie is currently at. She was told she has a few masses in her Lungs. Four doctors have told her it is most likely cancer, just because she has had cancer before. But it could be other things. They have not come out to say it, but it can be. Her husband has been watching cancer symposiums, reading up on cancer, how it comes back and in what ways. This has just not added up. Other types of lung disorders, or funguses that we all know do not respond to antibiotics. There are SO many other things that can be going on. She had her CT guided needle lung biopsy on Wednesday. She was scared as all hell going in. I got to the hospital and she was so tiny. The stress of cancer, the coughing fits and sickness she has had for over 3 months has taken a toll on her body. Her hair is starting to grow back however. She’s starting to look like her pre-cancer self again, just a runway model version of it :). She knows I mean well and I totally joke around with her to keep her spirits up. I picked on her about needing to eat cheeseburgers the minute I showed up. The truth is, she looks beautiful. She looks healthy besides looking so tired. Lyndsie is tough. But on Wednesday, she was vulnerable. What this could mean for her family is un-thinkable. You can’t even go there. You just can’t.
She was asked to fast before her test.
I got there around 1030 am for her procedure, and she was supposed to have it at 11:30. She waited. The clock turned to 12. She waited, the clock turned to 1. She waited and waited. Finally she went in for her procedure around 1:30. She was past the point of starving, exhausted from no sleep the night before (her meds make it difficult to sleep though the night) but she was ready. Ready to get moving on this so she could STOP. WAITING. Her main nurse that day ROCKED. Hilarious does not describe her. We loved her to pieces. This time I had with Lyndsie and Jared was not about taking 10 thousand photos. It was about being there with a friend. There is no video. We don’t have a million shots. But I wanted to grab a few moments for those of you whom have prayed and followed her for now a very long time. Your support and kind words have helped her stay focused.
But until that pathology report from her lung biopsy comes back early next week, all Lyndsie, her mom, her husband, her sister, her dad…. can do ….. is again, wait.
So she will wait.
If needed, she will fight.
She will win.
Pray for Lyndsie. Pray for her family. Pray that God takes over and makes that last blog post, part 6, totally pointless.
Love you Lynds.
Emily Lucarz Photography specializes in newborn, child, baby, maternity, family and senior photography in Saint Louis, Missouri and surrounding areas. She teaches lifestyle photography workshops around the country. St. Louis newborn photographer. St. Louis family photographer.